The first night with Lemi

I have tried to sit and write this five times and couldn't here goes the sixth time with tears already streaming......

After we finished shopping with Lemi, Nicco took us to the guest house for us to play and get some rest before dinner. It was such a bitter-sweet moment to watch Lemi jump out of the car clutching the two small bags of clothes. I followed behind him as he bounced up the stairs in his new shoes. I wondered to myself what he must be feeling- He had new shoes that fit on his feet for the first time ever and he was carrying two bags of  brand new clothes for the first time in his life. I started to cry as I watched him follow David into our guestroom.

When we got into the room I then quickly realized that communication was going to be very hard. This was the first time that David and I had been without a translator and with our very limited Amheric and his very limited English we knew we were in for a challenge. We had so much we wanted to say to him and so many questions to ask yet we couldn't. Instead of talking we settled for playing. I pulled out the legos, an ipod, a yoyo, a dry erase board and a few other things for us to enjoy together. We used a lot of made up sign language to communicate and shared many laughs those first few hours of being alone. We had a great afternoon of playing and David helped him take his first warm shower before putting on his brand new clothes.

Nicco arrived that evening to take us to dinner and it was a pleasure to meet his wife and have a nice meal. It was also nice to have them translate again to help us communicate with Lemi. Lemi was all smiles during dinner but I noticed that he did not eat much. He laughed and smiled as we talked about our family and how we couldn't wait for him to come home with us. On the way back to the guesthouse he told Nicco that his stomach was hurting and Nicco communicated that to me.

We arrived back at the guesthouse after dark and Lemi headed straight to the bathroom. After he was in there a few minutes he called for me. I went in to find him getting sick. My heart started to break- I thought back to the first time I hugged him earlier that day and how frail he felt. How the reality of my son not being able to hold down food because his body was not use to eating was so hard for me to comprehend. I made sure all day that he had eaten bland food but because his body was not use to much food it couldn't keep even pasta and rice down. I held back the tears as I got him a towel and rubbed his back and prayed in that small, dark bathroom as the power was out.

When he was feeling some better he changed his clothes and crawled into his bed. Lemi was all smiles and I am not sure he had ever had a bed all to himself. I taught him how to pull back the sheets as he laughed and then he snuggled in. David and I sat on his bed and prayed with him for the first time. When the prayer was over he sat up and tickled David on the stomach as he said, "Tickle, tickle." David and I both looked at each other with tears in our eyes. We had not tickled Lemi all day but those of you who have been at our house at bedtime you know that David tickles all of our kids after prayer time- David didn't tickle Lemi but Lemi tickled David and we knew that was a blessing from God. A small reminder that Lemi was meant to be a Henderson. Only God does such neat and unexpected things for us!

David went to get ready for bed and I stayed with Lemi. I started to sing to him as I rubbed his back. As a mom I had missed so many nights of tucking him into bed, so many nights of bedtime prayers, and so many nights of tickle time and I knew that we only had a few short nights before we would have to leave him again and so I wanted each night to count. I sang as he drifted off to sleep and I wish that I would have had my camera on the bed to  take a picture- My son literally went to sleep with a huge smile on his face. Long after I had finished singing he was smiling as he was sleeping so peacefully.

The next morning we got up early and headed out to the bus station to pick up Busha- Lemi's birthmom. Lemi had not seen Busha in over 3 years and so I was eager to not only meet her but to see the interaction between Lemi and his mom. As soon as Nicco stopped the car Lemi jumped out and ran to the side of the road. I thought maybe he had spotted her but instead he was sick again. My heart boke as I watched Nicco hurry over to help him. Nicco then spotted Busha as he was walking with Lemi back to the car.

I watched as my son hugged his mom that he had not seen in 3 years. I watched her tears as she hugged him. I couldn't imagine her thoughts or her feelings. I could tell by the way that they interacted that they loved each other deeply. She pulled away from their hug and held his face in her hands to look at him just as I had done 24 hours earlier. She wanted to see every detail of his face. I had to look away as my heart was breaking. Breaking for a mom who loved her son so much that she wanted more for him. She couldn't provide for his basic needs and she loved him enough to provide something more for him. I have said this before- I am not sure that I would have been selfless enough if I had been in her situation.

David and I walked over to where Busha and Lemi were standing and Nicco started to introduce us but by the time he finished we were greeting one another with kisses and hugs in true Ethiopian fashion. Busha was talking very quickly to me and saying the same thing over and over. I have no idea what she was saying but she was laughing and smiling and so I gathered that she was happy. We held each other for a while and even though we don't speak the same language there was a deep love felt. I whispered over and over to her as we both were crying that I would take good care of Lemi. I know she couldn't understand a word that I was saying yet I think she completely understood every word.

 I knew that Busha must be exhausted after her travel. She walked 5 hours by foot, took a donkey cart a few more hours, rode in the back of a work truck and then took a long bus ride to get to the city. Her journey to the city had started the day before and here she found herself with her son in a city unknown to her with a man and women who were going to parent her son. She was so gracious and kind. She was not shy and when we got back into the car to go to lunch she had much to share with us about her life and her family. She also wanted to know all about Tizita and Geremew.

At lunch we laughed and giggled as Busha tried to teach me some of the Zay language. The Zay language is spoken on the island where our three kids are from yet none of our kids remember that language due to the fact that the orpahange speaks Amheric. I am not very good at foreign language but during that lunch I tried like I have never tried before to learn at least a few words.

Lunch was so enjoyable and Busha is an amazing and very fun lady. It was very interesting watching her (and Lemi) experience all of the new things in the city. She has only been to Addis once a few weeks prior for paperwork and she was amazed by the experience. You should have seen her and Lemi get on the elevator prior to lunch. She held and sqeezed my hand like a small child as she closed her eyes and held her breath when we started to move. We all laughed and had a great time experiencing so many first things with them.


After lunch we traveled back to the guesthouse and Busha stayed with us for the afternoon. The guesthouse was so kind and they even gave her a room to take a short nap. It was such a blessing to get a glimpse into the personalty and life of Lemi's mom. We had two days with her and those two days will forever be cherished by my son and by me.


End note: Lemi continued to be sick for several days- it tooks his tall frail body a few days to be reintroduced to food. By the time we left to come home he was eating like a champ and his body was keeping the food down. I am so thankful that since our return he has been cared for by Nicco and the Post family. It has been very hard for me to realize how hungry our son really was. It litterally made me sick to think that he was eating so very little and most days nothing at all. With so much waste in our country I have had a hard time processing the fact that a few weeks ago I held my son who was litterally starving. When I see the amount of money spent on back to school supplies, politics, fireworks for a church celebration, the list goes on and on- it makes me angry. I am dealing with my anger because I know that is not right but as believers we need to make a stand- We need to care for the least of these. There are children here in our community and around the world who don't have thier basic needs met and then we dare to do more for ourselves when we have so much more than we need. You may think that I shouldn't be so strong but if you ever hold your son who has been starving maybe you will understand how deep my heart hurts for the least of these. What can you do without today? This month? This Christmas season? This year? What can you give to the least of these?       

Lemi......

After dropping our bags at the guest house we headed out to see Lemi. On the way to the orphanage Nicco explained that he had gained permission for us to keep Lemi with us for our entire visit. This was a huge surprise to us because we thought that we would spend the days with him but that in the evenings we would have to leave him. I had noticed that our room at the guest house had an extra twin size bed (thanks to Nicco) but really thought nothing of it until Nicco shared with us the good news of spending the week not having to say goodbye each night to Lemi.
On the way to the orphanage I was very nervous, excited, overwhelmed and full of emotion. I remembered having these same emotions when we were meeting Garrett and Tia for the first time yet this time my emotions caught me off guard. I had met Lemi two years ago as my sons best friend, yet now I was going to meet him as my son. Things had moved so rapidly with this adoption that I really had not had time to process what the first few minutes with him would be.
We pulled up to the large metal gate in front of the orphanage and Nicco blew the car horn. David and I sat in the car as we saw the guard open the small door on the gate. Nicco then explained who we were and then the guard said that he would get him as he turned and closed the door. I quickly said, "David, we have to get out! We can't just be sitting in the car when Lemi comes out."  We both jumped out of the car just in time for the door to reopen and there stood our son.
He pointed to David and quickly said, "Dad!" He then started to point to me as he said, "Mom!", but I quickly hugged him and tears started to roll down my face. I am sure that he had been longing for years to say those two words. They both rang in my head.......Dad........Mom! After a hug, I then placed his face in my hands just as I had done with Tia and Garrett and looked into his eyes for just a few seconds. The smile on his face was something that I can't begin to put into words- Pure JOY!
After a few more hugs we got into the car to head off to have some lunch. Much like we had experienced before, Lemi had so many first ahead of him. He had never been to a restaurant, never eaten at a table, never had pizza and the list goes on and on. The look on his face as we walked up the steps to the place where we were going to have lunch was priceless. His eyes were wide and his smile filled his entire face yet he had no idea what to do. He grabbed my hand very tightly and the best I could I explained that we were going to sit down and have lunch. He sat between David and I and didn't take his eyes off of us. The waitress brought us some bread (Dabo- a word I know :) ) and then she wanted our drink orders. We ordered him an orange soda (that is Garrett's favorite) without really knowing what he would want. When the waitress came back and opened the bottle top on his soda you would have thought that she was handing him the world. His enormous grin somehow managed to get bigger. Much like with our other children, we giggled as we watched him experience the fizzy taste of soda for the first time. He ate very little for lunch and only later did we understand and know why.
After lunch we took him out to shop for some clothes. He came to us with a shirt, a pair of pants, a jacket and a pair of shoes. We knew that if he was spending the week with us he would need a few more things and as Nicco explained that we were going to take him shopping he really had no idea what Nicco was talking about. Lemi has obviously never been into a store and so I knew that the afternoon ahead would be fun.
We pulled up in front of a children's shop and went inside while Nicco parked the car. It was a two story shop and we quickly realized that all of the baby and toddler clothing were on the first floor and Lemi's size clothing was on the second. We made our way upstairs and Lemi was in awe as he started to look around. This store was very small in comparison to stores here in America but to Lemi it was huge! Nicco came in and we explained that he could pick out three or four shirts and some pants. He was picking up any size and we finally got him to understand that not everything there would fit him. He picked several shirts and pants in his size and it was time to try them on. Instead of going into the dressing room, because obviously he had no idea what a dressing room was, he just started stripping down right in the middle of the store. David and I both laughed and we along with Nicco explained that he needed to go into another area to try on the clothes.
I am crying as I type this because the look on our sons face when he came out with  brand new shirt and a new pair of pants was something that is hard to describe. It is a look that I will never forget- He was so proud, so excited and he was beaming with a smile like I have never seen on a child.
After he picked out his clothes we then explained to him that he could find a pair of shoes to buy. I don't know why but to me being able to provide him with a pair of shoes that fit was a big deal. I know that he has never in his life had a pair of shoes that fit his feet and to think of a boy that is 8 or 9 years old never having shoes just breaks my heart. As we were helping him try on shoes I was reminded of watching our sweet Kaylee put shoes on Garrett's feet for the first time. There is just something special to me about giving our sons shoes for the first time- Maybe that is weird but just like I loved giving Tia her first dress that fit her, it made my heart happy to put new, fitting shoes on my sons feet!

To be continued............

Rushed......

Time has been flying by and I haven't had time to sit and blog so for those of you who have contacted me here we go. I will start back at the very beginning of this journey:

As most of you know when we brought Garrett home a little over two years ago he talked about, prayed for and continued to ask us about his best friend Lemi. Lemi, Garrett, Tia and another young girl were brought off of Zadachu island on the same day and were in the same orphanage both is Zway and in Addis. While we were in Addis for six weeks for the adoption process for Tia and Garrett our entire family met Lemi and none of us could forget him. After almost two yers of praying for him to have a family we finally realized that God was chosing us to be his forever family.

In May, we started to get serious about the process of adding him to our family. We started our home study, all 8 of us had physicals (within a weeks time), we were fingerprinted a million times, police clearances granted, gathered paperwork and everything else that goes into getting paper ready to bring a child into our family by the way of adopting. This part of the process was somewhat easier this time because we had done it before but paperwork gathering for our family is never easy!

During this time we also contacted the agency we had used before to find out more information about Lemi but we were met with the fact that our agency was closed and was being sold to another agency. This could have been a major roadblock but instead God opened a door for us to move forward. We had been told by our new agency that since our home study and paperwork was not complete until late June that we should not expect to be filed for court until after the rainy season (August- October) and to not really expect him to travel home until around the first of next year. Our families hope and dream at the end of June was that he would be home by Christmas. (My personal prayer was that he would have a year as a Henderson before Megan goes to college- see previous blog)

David and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary in May and to celebrate we planned a trip away for the first week of July. We were out of the country and unable to use our phones for the week and so much to our surprise when we turned on our phones we had several messages from our adoption agency explaining that they were ready to file for a court date for Lemi and needed a few more things from us. We were told that it would be a miracle to pass court prior to the rainy season but that they were going to try to get it scheduled. We were shocked and excited that God was moving this adoption along at a pace much quicker than we could have dreamed.

We were filed for court shortly after we returned from our trip and we received word that we were to be in Court in Addis on August 13th. That e-mail came at the end of July and for whatever reason (now I know why) we waited a few days to look into travel plans. We were so thankful that we waited because on August 1st, our agency called and said that our court date had been moved up and that we needed to be in Ethiopia on August 9th for our court date on August 10th. That meant that in less than a week we would need to make arrangements to travel, find a place to stay, get all six kids here taken care of, get Ethiopian visas and pray that one last piece of needed paperwork would come.We were thrilled but YIKES that is not much time. Little did we know then that we had much less than a week!

As soon as we got that call I sent our passports to the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington, DC in order to get Ethiopian visas. In the past you were able to purchase them at the airport in Addis but we have been told that any day they could discontinue that and the best thing to do is send them to DC in order to make sure that you can enter the country. On the website it says that there is a 24 hour turn around and so I mailed our passports overnight mail and included an overnight return envelope and knew that they should be back to us by Friday and Saturday prior to our early Tuesday morning departure. I checked that off of my long list and thought nothing more of it.

We started making plans and crossing things off of our to do list until late Friday evening when things all changed. David was looking at a few e-mails and came across an e-mail sent late on Friday afternoon that stated that the Ethiopian Embassy was running behind on returning Passports and Visas. He then questioned if ours had been returned. I quickly got on the UPS site to track them and found out that they had not left from the Ethiopian Embassy. This meant that even if someone sent them to us on Monday they would not arrive by our 7:30am flight on Tuesday. This was a BIG issue!The Ethiopian Embassy was already closed for the weekend and Monday morning would be to late to try and contact them. David and I were so unsure of what to do but we prayed and felt that God was saying to travel to DC and pick up the passports/visas. This would mean that we had to leave no later than Sunday and since it was very late Friday night before we realized this we were scrambling.

Early Saturday morning I made a phone call to Ethiopian Airlines to see if it was possible to change the first leg of our flight. We were thankful that our second flight was from DC and so that part would not need to be changed. At first they said no that they had no flights available on Sunday. I explained our situation and the lady very kindly worked for what seemed like hours to find a flight for us- that flight would leave at 5:30am on Sunday morning. It was almost lunch time when we had finally confirmation that in about 18 hours we would be leaving.......what about the kids, the dog, the needed paperwork, how would we get to the airport at 3:30am and the list went on and on. We have amazing friends and so quickly all of our list was covered and somehow we managed to pack and have everything together.

We arrived in DC at 7:30am on Sunday morning and crashed due to having no sleep the night before. We then enjoyed the city as much a we could knowing that on Monday morning they could or could not give us our passports. We woke up very early Monday and took the Metro to the Ethiopian Embassy. We arrived and sat on the front steps for almost an hour waiting for them to open. We were first in line and praise God after a few minutes our passports were located. They already had visas in them but they were waiting for a signature. By 9:30am we had passports in hand and we were able to enjoy the day knowing that the next day we could travel to Ethiopia to see our son.

Early on Tuesday morning we were greeted by our taxi driver who just happened to be from Addis. We had an enjoyable ride with him to the airport and as we got out of the cab David payed him. The driver quickly handed David back some money and said, "Please help someone who is poor in my country." I had to walk away as huge tears poured down my face. I thanked God for a man who wasn't willing to forget where he had come from and it made me think of my son Garrett. God reminded me yet again that we were leaving to go to Ethiopia because my son will never forget where he came from. He had urged our family for months to go and help his friend who was there with out a family. We were on our way to do just this- bring another son into our family!

David and I boarded the plane and I think we were both still in a little state of shock. All of this had happened so quickly and truth be told our heads had been spinning but now we had hours (plenty of hours) to sit on a plane and realize that this was it- Our family was expanding and the joy of that was amazing. After 13 hours of flying and what seemed like 14 hours of finding our luggage we were greeted by Nicco and we were off. We took our bags to the guesthouse and then we headed off to see Lemi.

To be continued........

He Cares....

As I woke up this morning God reminded me yet again that He cares about every aspect of my life. A few months ago when we set out on the journey to add Lemi to our family I had one concern- It seems somewhat selfish but it was very important to me. If you know our family well you know that family is very important to us. My biggest concern was that Lemi would not be here in our home very long before Megan would leave for college. Instead of worrying I simply started to pray and share with God my heart.
I prayed that God would give our family a year together before Megan would leave for school. This may seem very small as you read this request but to me it was another mountain because we had been told that it would be after the rainy season in Ethiopia before we would even file for court and it could be months after that before he would be home. This would mean that Lemi would only be part of our family for a few short months before Megan would start college. I prayed knowing that I was asking the impossible but with faith I was being real with God about my hearts desire.
When David and I got the phone call a few weeks ago that we were ready to be filed in court we were away for our 20th Anniversary. As soon as I hung up the phone with our agency I cried over breakfast as I shared with David what my prayer had been. Honestly, I hadn't shared this with him before because I knew how unreal my desire was. As I shared with David it was as if God was whispering to me, "Mendy, I Care. I care about the smallest detail just trust me and ask. See what I can do...."
I am learning over and over on this journey of life that He does care and His ways are always the best-  Praising God that Lemi is a Henderson and Megan doesn't start her senior year for another week and a half- OUR GOD IS ABLE.......

We are now a party of 9!

I haven't had much time to update our blog but I will carve out time to update with stories and photos this next week after we return home. We have wanted to spend every second with our new son and so updating this blog has not been a priority. Here are some basics:

We were thrilled that as soon as we flew into Addis we were able to pick up Lemi at the trabsition house and he has been with us the entire week- We were not expecting to have him 27/7 and we have LOVED it!

Lemi was thrilled to see u and as soon as the door opened he said, "Mom.....Dad". My heart melted as I hugged him for the first time!

The next day we went to the bus station and picked up Lemi's birthmom. We enjoyed 2 full days with her and those are days that we will never forget! Honestly most adoptive families don't get that time and for it we are so very thankful!

We found out while spending time with Busha (Lemis' birthmom) that Tizita and Geremew's grandmother and Lemi's grandfather are cousins meaning that their great grandparents are the same- How amazing is that?

Here are a few sad facts:

Our son has experienced a long period of time with very little food. It has been hard for his body to adjust to eating well and it breaks my heart. He was sick the first day or two but now he is feeling much better....

Power is now out......I am off will type more asap............

Waiting.....

The past few days have been bittersweet for us. We received a e-mail stating that we have a court date on August 13th in Ethiopia which is amazing news. While this news is more than exciting, we are somewhat overwhelmed because of all that is needed on our end with the USCIS/ Dept. of Homeland Security. It simply is not ready.  Long story short as soon as we received our home study we mailed off our I-600a form which had to include our home study documentation to the USCIS office. When they received our form they sent a receipt and now the process is to wait for a date to be fingerprinted and then they will follow up with an approval letter that we will need in court
When we received the receipt we started to call to see if we could speak to the officer assigned to our case because we know that he/she has the authority to hurry the case along if he/she is willing to work with us. Each day when we have called we have been told that our case is still sitting in the bins to be picked up by and officer with no guarantees of when it will be picked up. Yesterday I was finally able to speak to a manager who told us that our documents were in the 7th bin. She then went on to explain that 6 very full bins were in line in front of ours and that she had no idea how long the process would be. She then went on to say that she thought it would be about 70 days because so many officers are on vacation at this time of the year. She said that we just needed to wait for our fingerprint appointment that she couldn't help us.
We know that from our first adoption as soon as we have the paper that gives our fingerprint date and time that we can go to the fingerprint location to be fingerprinted...........so today as I went to get the mail I was so excited to find the notice of our fingerprint appointment! We plan to be at the USCIS office at 8:00am Monday morning with proof of our court date and we hope to have this step of the process complete. Please pray with us that on Monday they allow us to be fingerprinted and that somehow an officer picks up our file and will be willing to work quickly with us to have the needed approval letter to us by August 8th or 9th prior to us needing to leave to be in Ethiopia for the August 13th court date! Thanks for being on this crazy journey with us.
 Who would have thought that in this crazy world of adoption we would be waiting almost two years in one case and completely rushed and behind in another- Our God always knows what is best and as always I am trusting His perfect plan for our family.


Lemme,
You will never know how emotional I have been the past few days! To think that one piece of paper could keep you living without a family for 2-3 extra months really breaks my heart. I am trusting that God has this thing all planned out but I sure can't wait to have you at home with us. We are all waiting for you to be here! I can't imagine how excited you must be to know that after waiting for more than four years a family is going to take you home and give you a family- I am so sorry that it has taken us so long. I want you to know that your siblings have longed for you to be a part of our family for two years- they can't wait for you to be here. One of your older sisters, Kaylee, has Lemme in Henna tattoo on her arm- She loves you so much! Garrett can't wait for you to be here and he is asking everyday how much longer. Jacob is super excited to have another younger brother and he is going to give you his bed as he moves to another bedroom. Megan has had pictures of you in her room for as long as I can remember and she made the first contact with our agency to see about bringing you home to be a part of our family. Your sisters Tia and Lindsay pray for you every night and they both say everyday that they can't wait for you to be home! You will never know how much you are loved and it will take you a very long time to understand what it feels like to live in a family. Dad and I are so ready to start introducing you to what it feels like to be loved unconditionally, forever and always. What it means to be a part of a family- and more importantly than any of this we can't wait to tell you about Jesus and His great love for you! We love you son and we hate that you are going to bed alone tonight- We pray that God wraps HIs arms around you and holds you tight. We promise that we are on our way........We are one day closer to being a party of nine and I just can't wait!
Love you more than you could imagine or dream-
Mom

What We Know....

Many have contacted us the past few days asking what is going on and so here is a very brief update: Our case was filed in the courts of Ethiopia last Thursday. What this means is that all of our paperwork was turned in and we are now waiting for the court to give us an actual date to be in Ethiopia to be present in court- The last date given to our agency when they filed in court was for July 30th and so we will wait to see what date we are given. Also a member of Lemme's family will have another court date set for them to appear before the judge but this will not be at the same time that we are in court- (That is different than the day that we were in court with Werke- Tia and Garrett's birth mom) If both of these court dates happen before August 7th or 8th then Lemme will officially be a Henderson before the rainy season court closure happens in Ethiopia. If we were to pass court in August then we would travel back to America without Lemme (at least I think....David thinks I might stay) and wait for our Embassy appointment which I understand would be late September to early October. At that time David and I will travel over to bring Lemme home.  If we do not get a court date prior to court closing then we will be assigned a court date in October when court reopens and then Lemme should be home with us in December. Either way we know that God has got this- His plan and timetable is so much greater than ours and although we would love to know if we will be in Ethiopia within two weeks we will just have to wait to see.
As in all of this anything can change! When our agency called this morning she said that they feel there would be no reason that this couldn't be complete within the next two weeks. Again we are trusting Him and if the truth be told I am somewhat guarding my heart. I remember the pain and heartache that I felt a few years ago when the timeline given went from four months to almost two years when played out in reality.
For now our family of eight (or whoever happens to be home on any given day) is enjoying this season of having dad at home (David is on a 3 month sabbatical which is a blog in and of itself), swimming, playing games, having sleepovers, and just simply having fun. Thanks for praying for us as we follow Him closely and grow our family in the process!