Our family is so thankful that Tia and Garrett's older sister and Lemi's older brother have clean drinking water! Thanks to all of you who have given to Garrett's Heart to make this a reality. When I first saw this photo tears of joy filled my eyes. I love the smile on the face of the boy on the far left. Sweet, simple joy due to having clean water- In our society we very rarely get excited about anything yet he is so thrilled to have clean water. Take a few minutes to ponder that! Praising God for His faithfulness to do so much more than we could have ever imagined when we said yes to adopt. Thankful to be on this journey!

His Story......

I am always amazed at how God's story plays out in the life of our family.

For Christmas this year my mom had our family blog printed into book form. For the past several weeks at bedtime I have been reading our blog to the kids. For some of them they remember living the pages of this book very well. Several of our kids have had no idea what our family thought, felt, or struggle with while we were waiting for our forever family to be complete.

It is always with tear filled eyes (as Garrett rolls his eyes yet is so interested) that I read the words that I had written during the long and painful wait to make our forever family complete. I can barely speak as I read the notes at the end of each blog that I had written to Tia and Garrett each day during the wait to bring them home. Each night I see Tia and Garrett light up with joy as they listen to the love and desire we had to bring them home.

A few weeks ago when we finished reading Garrett questioned me about this book, "Mom, Can other people buy this book at the book store?" I explained to him that this was a special book for our family and that it wasn't a book that anyone else could purchase at the book store. He got very quiet and then he said, "You know I think it should be at the book store. Mom, if other people could read about our story I think more kids would be adopted. I can help you write the book so we can sell it at the book store." I told Garrett that I would love for him to write a book with me but that writing a book takes a lot of time and for now we are just keeping a blog of all that God is doing in our life. I also told him to start praying that God would allow us the time and resources to write a book if that is how God wanted to use our adoption story. Before I tucked Garrett in he prayed the sweetest prayer that God would help others to get to read about our story so that other orphaned kids could have a home.

For many months I had felt the need to share our story but this conversation with Garrett prompted my heart and I had a very hard time going to sleep that night. I hear over and over from others that I need to write our story in book form (Yes, Laura I know you will be the first to buy one) yet I am not a writer. Most of the time the keys are wet from tears as I try to type my emotions of the story that God is having us live out. I went to sleep praying that God would give me wisdom on leading Garrett to share our story. 

Honestly, I should not be surprised but God's timing still always amazes me. The very next morning I had a message from Daniel who is with the Abba Fund. The message said,

"Dave & Mendy, Just touching base to make sure my emails got through to you and didn't end up in a junk email folder (see below).
Willie Mangum, the creator and producer of the show, has a team interviewing people in Charlotte in the coming week and was hoping to connect with y'all if you're open to the idea. Let me know and I'll make an introduction, or steer him in a different direction ...
Blessings,
Daniel

Daniel LaBry
Jan 28 (2 days ago)
to Dave, Mendy, Eugene, Dwain
Dave and Mendy,
I hope all is well -- love seeing all the adventures of the family on Facebook. And Dave, love the sermon series you've been doing -- God must have really filled you up during that sabbatical time
I wanted to touch base with y'all to see if you would be open to talking to a friend of ABBA Fund's, Willie Mangum, who is working on a pilot TV program for Inspiration Network (more explanation below). He is right in the Charlotte area and asked us to help find an adoptive family with an inspiring story. When I shared a little about y'alls adoption journey, the missional impact y'all helped spark for the Zay people, the adoption culture that has developed in y'alls church, and the 1+1+1=0 initiative that was birthed for North Carolina... not to mention your history with ABBA Fund -- well, let's just say Willie asked that we bump his getting to meet y'all to the top of the list."

As I read these words again tears poured down my face. I think I read this four or five times in amazement. In God's perfect timing we didn't receive this note on the first attempt of Daniel sending it to us but the day after my conversation with Garrett. We of course said that we would love to share God's story being lived out in our family. I could not wait for Garrett to get off of the school bus that afternoon so that I could read this email to him.

Fast forward to today, here in our home. We all got up earlier than usual this morning as the crew had to get here early to set up.  All nine of us had our hair and make-up done (The boys LOVED that part as they teased each other about the bright red lipstick) as our home was transformed with lights, cameras and sound equipment. It was neat to experience such a thing in our home.


We all nine had a personal interview time and I was first. As I sat in the chair with the camera inches from my face tears began to fall. We hadn't even started and I had to ask for a box of tissue. I was once again overwhelmed with God's faithfulness to us when we say yes to Him. I thought back to the journey that He has had our family on and to the night where Garrett and I knelt in his floor and asked God to help us share His story being lived out in life of our family.

A small side note- It was very strange to be sitting inches from a camera, someone fixing your hair and having someone that you watched (and voted for) on American Idol (Chris Sligh) snapping pictures of  me. I would think that I should have been taking pictures of him........

Today we took another step on this journey. A step that we couldn't begin to imagine but one that we know He had us take. The step of making our story a little more public in hopes that lives will be changed. Our prayer is that by sharing our story many other families will step onto the journey of adding the fatherless to their home- We are praying that more Forever Families will be established!

Humbled that He has called us and looking forward to the ever changing journey up ahead-

Tonight-

Tonight is one of those nights where I have been reminded that in God's perfect plan life would look very different for our family. The tears that were shed tonight by one of my boys in a perfect world would not have fallen from his eyes. I don't think the pain that my son feels in his heart was what God intended when He formed a perfect world, however this is where we find ourselves.
Our smiling Lemi had a hard time at bedtime tonight. Garrett was already asleep due to a headache and so as I tucked Lemi in I had some one on one time with him. As we talked I noticed tears forming in the corners of his eyes. I gently questioned if he was ok. He shook his head no and tears started to fall down his cheeks. He then shared with me how much he misses his family in Ethiopia. My heart broke for him. There are no words to comfort my son and so I wrapped my arms around him and cried with him.
How my heart breaks that at such a young age he has had to endure so much. The loss of family, culture and security all by the time he was 4 or 5 years old. The years of watching other children be "chosen" by a family while he waited feeling as if he wasn't wanted.
Tonight there is an ache in my heart but it is joined with thanksgiving that our son is here- He is loved, cared for, accepted and will never be alone. Praying for healing in his precious heart that only God can give- Loving the best I know how and praising God that He chose me to be Lemi's adoptive mom!

You never know.....

Sunday night as I sat watching the Super Bowl, I was reminded that God can do some pretty amazing things with our life if we allow him. I was somewhat distracted as I watched the game by my thoughts. I had read numerous articles last week about players in the Super Bowl, the coaches being brothers, and the sex industry that comes along with such an event. My thoughts were on these things more than they were on the real game as the lights in the stadium went out.

I found myself glancing over at my boys from time to time and thinking about what they would become someday. It may not be that God wants them to become NFL players but He has something big lined up for them. Every once in a while Tia or one of the other four adopted children who were watching the game with us would come into the room and I would think the same.

Years ago, Leigh Anne Tuohy had no idea when she saw a needy teenage boy that someday she would be be standing on a football field celebrating the fact that her son had won the Super Bowl. Instead she saw a broken teenager that needed love, guidance and to have his physical needs met. She took a risk when others said she shouldn't to give him love, discipline and care.

I do not know Leigh Anne Tuohy and I will probably never meet her but as I watched the interaction of her and Michael Oher after the game I was filled with emotion. I know the deep love of an adoptive mom and how desperately hard the steps were for her to walk with her son from his teenage years to the present. How many times she wondered if she had made the wrong choice for her family, how many tears she had shed for him, and how many days she rejoiced as she watched him progress. I am sure there were moments where she longed for him to truly feel loved and for him to be able to give love back. There were maybe sleepless nights as she prayed for God to do what only He could do in healing the hurt that life had brought to him.

Why do I know these things? I know because I have adopted kids. Kids who didn't choose to need a family other than their biological one. Kids who always will look back and in some ways wonder why it had to be this way. Children who do not know how to receive love because they haven't really experienced true, unconditional love. Then comes the joy when you see them grow into what God has formed them to be. The moments where they begin to get it-

In the case of Michael Oher he has a huge platform to show what can be if others are willing to step up and invest even when others say you shouldn't.  I am sure as a young teenage boy he couldn't even begin to dream of what his life would be today. He couldn't imagine even finishing high school much less winning the Super Bowl. He couldn't imagine it until the Tuohy family took a risk and loved him.

I love what Mrs. Tuohy said, "Families do not have to match. You do not have to look like someone else to love them. There are wonderful kids all over this country and the world who want a forever family. We believe there are no unwanted kids, just unfound families."

Now I have no idea what the 7 adopted kids that I watched the Super Bowl with will become one day but I do know one thing- They will know that they are loved, cared for and accepted. When they know these things they will be able to be whatever He has created them to be..........

I am challenging you to take a risk with a child- You (and they)  will be so glad that you did! Are you an unfound family?

My Lindsay......

Tonight I have one of my favorite girls in the world who is going to write a guest blog- My precious 9 year old Lindsay is going to blog about what it was like to travel to Ethiopia and adopt 3 children her age.........

A few years ago my parents were talking to my family about adopting a child or two. I was exited because I would have a sister my age to play with but also at the same time I was a little sad. One reason is because I would have to share my mom and dad. I was excited to get to go to Ethiopia with my mom, dad, brother and sisters when it was time to bring Tia and Garrett home.
When we got to Ethiopia it was a little weird. I saw kids on the streets and I saw people washing other peoples shoes..One of the things that I liked most was when we got to see orphans. There was one girl that I didn't want to let go of. She was a little tiny baby. I loved that I could hold her but at the same time I was sad that she didn't have a mom that could hold her all day long.     
Ethiopia is very different from were I live. For one thing every morning at about 4:00 am we would hear music playing. We also saw many children living on the street. Every night we brought some dinner across the street to some boys who washed shoes to get money for food. I don't think that they had a home and it made me so sad to see kids my age not have a family.
When we came back home on an airplane Tia and Garrett were scared. I helped them by playing with them. This was only my second plane ride ever so I knew what it was like to be a little scared. My first plane ride was to Ethiopia.
When we got home Tia and Garrett were amazed by our house. They kept on turning the lights on and off. Also the turned the water on and off. They were so happy to have a bed that was just for them after having to share or not having a bed. I can't believe that they use to sleep on the dirt every night.
I was so glad to have them home and sharing my mom and dad hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. We even have now adopted Lemi because all of the kids in our family really wanted to adopt him. I am now glad that we have a big family with nine people. Lindsay

A Passion Mom........

For the past few years David and I have had the opportunity to be a small part of the Passion movement. We have the role of being door holders and leading a group of people to help the thousands (60,000 this year) of college students to find their seats in the Georgia Dome. It is always such a blessing to play our part which is to hold the door so that these students can receive all that God has for them for the few days that we are together.

This year I found myself oddly in a new role. I was doing what I had done the previous few years but this year my focus was different- This year our oldest daughter, Megan, was one of those 60,000 students who had gathered to worship and be challenged to be all that God had created them to be. I found myself in the role of being a Passion mom. In the years past I have been in awe of this generation who give sacrificially and worship passionately and this year I was so excited for our Megan as a senior in high school to experience these few days.

The days leading up to Passion I found myself praying for God to do some amazing things in Megan's heart and life while she was experiencing Passion. Megan has a huge heart and she seeks to follow God with all that she is and so I prayed that God would continue to reveal His plan for her life as she spent these days with other students.

During these few days I am always busy running around making sure that the door holders on my team have all that they need and/or help with any issues that arise. I spend much of my time praying as I walk miles a day around the Dome. On the second day, I stepped in for a few minutes of worship and I was amazed once again by the sight of 60,000 students worshiping our creator. It is really as close to heaven as I think it gets here on earth. With tears pouring down my face I worshiped Him and as I worshiped I felt Him tugging at my mom heart.

I felt Him say, "Mendy, are you really willing to let her (Megan) follow me?"
For the past two years Passion has focused on slavery. There are 27 million slaves in our world today. We heard story after story of lives who are in complete bondage without hope unless the church steps up to be the hands and feet of Jesus. What if God calls Megan to go and rescue those who are caught up in this bondage? Am I as her mom ok with that?

Success in our country is so marked out that if I were honest I will tell you what I had done just a few moments earlier. I had just send David a text that said, "Just think our son-in-law (or 2) could be worshiping in this very room with us now." You see I want Megan's life to unfold how I think it should unfold. I have always known what success would look like for her. She will go to college, fall in love with an amazing man (who loves God and can provide well for her), they will marry after graduation, Megan will be a teacher, they will purchase a home, they will be involved in the local church, they will have our grandchildren...........and the successes go on and on.

God caught my attention and very clearly made me think about what success to Him looks like. I am ashamed to say that His idea of success seemed so far away from mine. Success to Him would be Megan fulfilling the role that He has designed for her to play not doing what is expected from our society. Could it look like my success? Maybe, but the success I want for her is a comfortable life and I should know by now that God doesn't always want us to be comfortable. He wants us to be obedient and full of faith in Him as we willingly lay down our lives to follow Him.

For a few minutes I had to wrestle with the fact that God might call Megan into a very dangerous place of rescuing those who need to be set free, He could call her to love on those who are fatherless in another country, He could call her to translate His word into another language, or He could call her to be a second grade teacher right here in Harrisburg, North Carolina. I have no idea what His plans are for her life but in my heart I had to wrestle with myself until I could put my selfish desires down and trust Him with Megan's life- Where ever that may lead.

My own heart.......

As I listed to the challenge to end slavery my heart was breaking because we have 3 children that very likely could have ended up being slaves. I couldn't imaging my sweet Tizita being sold into the sex slave market yet my mind went back to the airport in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia both in August and October of this past year.  We witnessed hundreds of very young girls boarding airplanes to travel to what they thought was freedom yet what they were going to find was slavery. I remembering saying over and over to David in the airport, "David, we must do something. We can't let these girls go." Yet we had no way to communicate with them. I cried as I watched these helpless girls who had nothing but the clothes on their back and a plane ticket- They were walking into slavery.
 Each trip after boarding our plane my mind went back to my little world and I quickly erased the sights of those who were being sold into slavery.. God rocked my world this week  and brought those sights back up. Today I will call an organization from Passion and share what we have seen. Whatever it takes I will not allow the enemy to have his way. I am willing not only to allow God to use our Megan but I am a willing mom of seven to do my part to END IT! Will you join me?
www.enditmovement.com

A Celebration and Goodbye

For days I have been planning to sit and blog yet with seven kids (with one who speaks limited English and one with Pneumonia) there has been very little down time. There is so much that I want to share from the past few weeks and so in time I will sort my thoughts out here-

   While in Ethiopia a few weeks ago we had an amazing opportunity to meet Lemi's entire birth family and spend time with Werke (Garrett and Tia's birth mom). Nicco had arranged for us to travel to Zway and for Lemi's family to travel to meet us. It wa wonderful to meet Lemi's birth mom, Busha, on our court trip but I was thrilled to think that we could also get to spend some extended time with Busha, his siblings and other relatives.
   We left Addis after breakfast and headed south to Zway. Nicco was our driver and so we set out in his small, red car with David in the front seat and I was happy to be in the back with Lemi. If you have never driven in Ethiopia then I will try to explain why I was elated to jump in the back seat. You travel at very high rates of speed with animals and people all over the streets. You are literally weaving in and out of cows, donkeys, dogs, horses and people. There are no real road rules other than to squeeze your way in and hope you don't bump into another car or run over something or someone. The drive to Zway is about three and a half hours and when you get outside the city there are not as many cars but the ones you see tend to be coming at you head on as they pass another car- For me the back seat is the place to be so that when I yell the driver can hear me.
   I always pray more when traveling in the car in Ethiopia and this day was no different. Between the fear of death and the wind blowing like a tornado from the windows rolled down there is very little talking that can take place. Lemi quickly went to sleep on my lap as soon as we left from Addis. As we drove I was praying for our safety but I was also praying for our time with the families we would spend the next day and a half with.
   When we have traveled to Zway in the past we have stayed in a small hotel called Teddy's and it is really an amazing oasis in the middle of Africa. The day before we were to travel down to Zway Nicco explained to me that Teddy's was full and that he had made arrangements at another hotel. Now again for those of you who have never been to Ethiopia a hotel in the middle of nowhere is not just like a Hotel Six here. It could mean that we are staying in a place with no running water and/or no electricity. This also was at the top of my prayer list as we drove. I prayed that I would get over my spoiled self and be able to stay where ever Nicco had arranged for us to stay. I must say that my mind went wild on that three and a half hour trip thinking about what this place might be like.
   We drove into Zway and had lunch at Teddy's (the nice place that I had hoped to stay) and made sure that they were still full for the night. Sure enough there were no rooms due to the fact that several NGO organizations were hosting a conference there. So we headed down the dirt road dodging donkeys carts, cattle and people on our way to our hotel and the people that we couldn't wait to spend time with.
   When we arrived at the hotel, Busha and her family were there waiting for us. Lemi had just spent time with Busha on our last trip but it had been four years since he had seen any other family. He quickly got out of the car and ran to his brothers. Tears filled my eyes as I watched him hug them. His oldest brother (who happens to be about 6' 4") wrapped his long arms around Lemi and picked him up in pure joy. His youngest brother who is six years old just kept looking at him. It was a sight that I will never forget. Everyone was laughing and celebrating the fact that they were all together again.
   We met Lemi's  sisters, his brother-in-laws (that seems funny), his nieces, an uncle and a few cousins. As soon as I met one niece she started to try to talk to me and we both laughed because we knew that I couldn't understand her. She was about nine years old and she kept pointing to herself and then making glasses with her fingers around her eyes and then pointing to me. I quickly felt on top of my head and handed her my sunglasses thinking that she wanted to wear them. She shook her head no and then again pointed at herself, made glasses around her eyes and pointed at me again. At that moment I looked at her and understood what she was saying. She remembered seeing me on the island the day that we were there two years prior.She is such a beautiful girl who is so sweet- David and I both wanted to bring her home!

   We made our way up onto the porch and spent several hours getting to know each member of Lemi's family. We were thankful  that we had Nicco and one of Lemi's cousins to translate. We were amazed that one of Lemi's cousins who was about 20 years old was very fluent in English (I will write an entire blog on him soon) and he was excited to get to translate from  the Zay language(which Nicco doesn't know) to English for us. David and I had fun sharing photos of Tia and Garrett as well as photos from our previous trip with Lemi. They had never seen an ipad and so they had so much fun looking at all of the pictures and videos.
   After a few hours Werke and Welde (Garrett and Tia's oldest brother) arrived and we again were excited to get to see them. They also had fun seeing all of the pictures of Tia and Garrett. I cried as I told them how proud they would be of how well they both were doing.

Side note: It is very humbling to sit with a lady who gave birth to two of the greatest joys of my life. Not many adoptive moms get the treasure of knowing the birth mom of their adoptive children on a personal level. My heart ached for her as I shared how Garrett is an amazing soccer player and how he loves football. I told her of the amazing progress that they have both made in school and how they both enjoy reading. I shared with her that Tia loves to dance and sing. How she loves to dress up (not that she can understand this because she owns only one dress) and act. I wrestled in my heart with what to share and how much to share. I prayed for God to give me wisdom and I shared it all. I showed her pictures of where they sleep because as a mom I think that I would want to know. The entire time she was glowing and smiling all the while my heart was breaking for her. I have said it many times before but I have no idea how she was able to want more for her children than for them to starve and so she was willing to give them a new life. I really am not sure I could do it. I plan to spend much more time with Werke in the future and  children's sake I am going to write a journal (or book) from the perspective of Werke and myself of this amazing journey that God has had us on for the past four years. I savored every moment with this women who is so much stronger than I could ever dream of being. She was so proud of her kids and she loved seeing their photos and hearing their voices in the videos.


   After several hours of talking, painting nails, taking pictures and a lot of laughter we all gathered for dinner. There were 24 of us around a very long table and as I sat there beside Lemi listening to Werke, Busha and their families laugh and chat I thought to myself, "Who gets to do this?" I had no idea what they were talking about but for some of them this was the first time that they had ever eaten at a restaurant. We told them to order anything that they wanted to eat or drink because this was a celebration of  families becoming one. Good thing we were in Ethiopia because for 24 of us to eat and drink whatever we wanted it was only about fifty US dollars.

  We are thankful that we were able to rent all of their family members rooms at the hotel for the night. For most of them they had never had a shower or slept in a bed. After I was settled in to our bed and under our mosquito net I thought that I probably should have shown them how to use the shower and turn down the bed. The things I take for granted each day like running water and a warm bed were a very special once-in-a-lifetime treat for each of them. I thought back to my crazy imagination of where I would be staying earlier that day and was completely ashamed of my thoughts. To think that I would not want to go one night without running water or have to sleep on the ground when our extended family does this every night shook me to the core. I prayed that God would forgive my entitlement attitude and that He would break me of me. I prayed that our new family in the hotel rooms all around us would enjoy every minute of this luxury and that I would daily realize the luxuries of my life could at any moment be taken away.
   The next morning we had a huge breakfast together and the room again was filled with laughter and joy. Shortly after breakfast we took several more photos and then it was time to say our goodbyes. I said goodbye quickly with hugs and then stood over to the side. I knew that they next few moments would be very difficult for me emotionally. To see my son saying goodbye to his family not knowing when they would see each other again. I began to sob and so I walked away as I watched Lemi's oldest brother bend down to hug him with tears in his eyes. I have always hated goodbyes. My hope and prayer for all of those who were saying goodbye that day is that one day we will all be in heaven together where there will be no goodbyes.

 

Brothers