Relaxed to Rushed with one phone call......

Here we go.......I am so unsure of how to put into words what my heart feels, but here it is-
I will start by saying that I know that God's timing is always best, and as I share what has unfolded in the life of our family the last two days you will quickly know why I am continually reminding myself of this over and over and over again!

David and I went away last week to celebrate 20 years of marriage. While we were away we received a family changing phone call. As most of you are aware, we have started the process to bring another son into our family and his name is Lemme. Prior to leaving on this trip we received word from our adoption agency that court would be closing soon for the rainy season (2-3 months typically). We were told not to expect to be able to have Lemme home with us until at least Christmas and that would be only if we were one of the first families to be in court after they reopen from the rainy season.

This information all changed last Friday when our agency left a message on my phone (that I received on Sunday afternoon) stating that he was ready to be adopted.  They told us that they feel very confident we will be in court prior to court closing on August 7th.  AUGUST 7th..........Like less than a month away! David and I rejoiced in the lobby of the hotel at the news that we could have another child in a months time, yet the thought was overwhelming and unexpected. We were both in shock and we both shook our heads in disbelief as we called back to find out more details from our agency.

Here is where I am unsure of what to write or how to write- We are ready in so many ways for Garrett to have his friend become his brother, we know that God has called us to be Lemme's parents, our paperwork is in order (a HUGE thank you to Paula for gathering the last minute papers on Monday for us while we were away), but we only lack one thing- the money to move forward. We have been given and/or have less than one third of what will actually be needed to move forward with this adoption in the time frame that we have been given. Literally we need to have $1,000.00 a day given the next few weeks to make this adoption a reality. There is no way that we can do this without God placing it on the hearts of others to help our family bring Lemme home. We have been here before and He provided every penny of the thousands of dollars that were needed and I know that in His time He will do that again. To be very specific (although we will know exactly tomorrow) we have around $15,000 and we will need around  $38,000-$40,000 to make this adoption complete including traveling  twice to Ethiopia, paperwork (pre and post adoption) and the general fee's that come along with adopting. This amount of money is staggering to me I must admit. It literally takes my breath away to think of the mountain ahead. I have been awake the last few nights quoting scripture in my head reminding myself not to worry or be anxious.

The unexpected speed in which this is happening has caught us (but not God) off guard. We had plans to apply for and receive several grants like we did when we adopted Tia and Garrett yet this time there is simply not time. All of the adoption grants that we were awarded last time must be granted prior to the completion of the adoption and with 3-4 weeks until we could be in court it would be a huge God thing to even get one grant yet we will spend the end of this week applying for them. Usually with grants it takes several months to hear if you were awarded a grant and months we do not have.

Many of you have inquired how you could help us financially when we stepped into bringing Lemme home and we have told you to wait until we are sure- Now we are sure! If you feel led to give please make the check out to University City Fellowship and put Henderson Adoption in the memo line and mail to 4351 Main Street, Suite 207 Harrisburg, NC 28075 or feel free to send a check written out to us and mail to 7944 Woodmere Drive Harrisburg, NC 28075. If you would send us a quick e-mail (mendyhenderson@yahoo.com) to let us know if you have sent a check so that we can keep track of how much more we need that would be helpful the next few days.

More that asking for you to play a part financially we are asking that you pray for us. For peace in our hearts as we trust Him completely. We know that He has led us to this and we know that somehow He will provide all that is needed in His time.  Many times the last two days I have thought why not just wait until after the rainy season and not rush this- We could have everything in order and not have to write a blog such as this and then I think about a young boy going to bed alone tonight just hoping that one day he will have a family to call his own. I certainly don't want months of nights like tonight to pass if there is any way to get him home sooner where he can have a mom and dad to love him.

So there it is- I have to laugh because in His perfect time we were returning from a trip that we would have never taken had the phone call come earlier. I am so thankful for the week away last week as I look ahead and see our family growing to 9- God knew that we needed a little time to not only celebrate 20 great years but we needed a little rest to get ready for what He has in store for us the next few weeks or months. We will keep you up to date on all that He is doing as we trust Him and walk into the unknown of the next few days- Please join us in praying that God would do the impossible as we step out in faith to follow.

Summer of Serving......

 June 1- I just watched our oldest daughter board a plane as she begins her summer of serving. As I sat at the airport with her this morning I was trying to hold back tears as we ate breakfast together. Not tears of sadness that she was leaving (those came later) but tears of great joy for what God is doing in her life. Since the day I found out that I was going to be a mom I have prayed that my children would seek to follow the Lord and serve others with His love. This morning I watched her walk onto a plane to do just this- With no prompting from David or myself Megan has filled her summer with opportunities to give of herself to others.
Megan is flying alone today to Mexico to go and serve a missionary family from our church for the next few weeks. She will return home just in time to travel again to be a camp counselor for a group of 3rd-5th graders from our church for a week. Next up will be a week at Mission Fuge with friends from her youth group where she will be serving in a poor community. She will leave from M-Fuge and head to Cousin's Camp to be a counselor (however this is a loose term :) She will have a blast with her cousins) for a week. Home a few days and then off again to Mexico to love on orphans for a week. Now that is a BUSY summer of serving!
As a mom I have always longed for the best for our kids. Early on in their lives I tried to give them what I thought was best by giving them things. I look back now and I realize that so many "things" that I thought they needed (like cute clothes with a matching hair bow of course) were really just for me not for them. The things that have made the greatest impact on their lives have been the opportunities that David and I have given them to love and serve- not the physical things that we have given to them. Whether it be in our church on Sunday, making a meal for a family in need, building houses in Mexico, serving the homeless a meal in downtown Charlotte, spending a summer in Ethiopia, bringing children who were fatherless into our family or babysitting for a couple that needed a night out they have learned the joy in serving.
I am so thankful for Megan's heart that instead of sleeping in each day, making plans with friends, hanging out at the pool (although I think in Mexico she will get to do a little of this), heading to the mall for more stuff, or just enjoying the summer before her senior year of high school she is doing what will bring her pure joy...........she is loving and serving others.
I have a lot to learn from her as I miss her this summer-Her absence will continue to remind me that it truly is better to give than to receive! How are you giving this summer?

Acts 20:35 - In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

20 Years.........

David and I celebrated 20 years of marriage yesterday. It is really hard for me to believe that it has been 20 years ago that I put on a white dress, met my dad at the back of the church and walked down the isle to become the wife of a man that I loved so deeply. I had no idea that day what the future would hold for me and if anyone would have told me what my life would looked like 20 years later I would have had a very good laugh. I am thankful that day that I didn't know what was ahead- all of the joys, sorrows, blessings and heartaches that were to come.Honestly if someone would have told me that I would have six (and maybe seven) kids I might have ran the other direction that day.

The past 20 days have been a journey down memory lane and I have enjoyed every day. 20 days before our anniversary David handed me a note card and a gift. I had no idea that it was 20 days prior to our big day but I quickly found out. The first note card said, "Year 1" on the outside of the envelope. I opened the card and inside was written May 1992- May 1993 along with a note reminding me of all that took place that year. The gift that he gave me was a symbol of what he had written. Each day for the past 20 days I received such a gift.

Almost every day the notes in the cards made me cry.......some of the tears were very joyful and some were painful. There were times that I smiled as I thought back to the precious times such as the days when our children were each born, when we bought our first house (sight unseen because I was 9 month pregnant and it was half way across the US), when God called us to plant a church, my first trip to Ethiopia, when Tia and Garrett finally became ours. Then there were times of heart ache when we lost a baby, moved far away from everything we had ever known for seminary, the loneliness of being a new mom in a very small town, the doctor said that I was in heart failure, the nights I would ask David if I was going to die, the phone call saying that the twins were unadoptable. Each year held something different, something that had shaped me into who I am today.

As I think back over the past twenty years I am thankful for each season, the good seasons, the hard seasons, the growing seasons and the seasons that I would rather forget........each one God used to remind me of who He is. The times where He held me, the times He caught each tear, the times He celebrated with me, the times He wanted me to trust Him, the times He loved me, the times He made me wait because He knew that was best...........and to think He gave me someone to be His hands and feet right beside me all of the way- I am forever thankful for the love that He has given to me by giving me a husband who has loved me for these 20 years- Simply Amazing!

Those Don't Match......

This morning as I was fixing Tia's hair I had an interaction with Tia that God used to make me realize just how spoiled I am and to remind me of those who have so much less. As she entered our bathroom I noticed that she had on two white socks but they didn't match. One was taller than the other on her ankle above her shoes- Not much taller maybe a half inch. I finished fixing her hair and said, "Tia, you have on socks that don't match and so you need to go and change them before school." She quickly replied with a very puzzled look on her face, "Mom, they do match they are both white."

In that very moment as she looked at me with a face of confussion I realized just how ridiculous I am. Here is my precious daughter who went years with no socks or shoes looking at me as if I must be crazy. She looked at me with eyes to say....."You have to be kidding me. They are both white socks yet because they aren't exactly the same they aren't good enough for you?" God used those moments to say to me- Mendy, you are looking at a young girl who went years with no socks and no shoes and now her two white socks don't match and that is a big deal? What in the world are you thinking? Is it really a big deal that one sock is a little taller than the other- and just when was the last time you were thankful for socks that I have provided your family anyway?

I know that this sounds a little silly but as I stood there with Tia and David in our bathroom God convicted my heart of how I always want or need things to be a certain way and instead of thanking Him for things He has provided I often just want more. Really there is no harm in spending a day in second grade in mismatched white socks (If you see Tia today she may still have on mismatched socks- I didn't check to see if she changed them and I hope she still has them on). Today I am just thankful that my daughter has socks and shoes on her feet when so many around the world only dream of having something to protect their feet. My heart hurts to think that I am so consumed in making sure my kids look a certain way that I neglect to thank God for what He has provided for our family.

A few hours ago God changed my perspective using a small pair of white socks- What will He use today to change your perspective? Are you listening and ready for Him to change you?

“So I tell you, don’t worry about everyday life–whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn’t life consist of more than food and clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feedsthem. And you are far more valuable to him than they are. Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not. “And why worry about your clothes? Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won’t he more surely care for you? You have so little faith! “So don’t worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:25-34

They Should Pay You.......

Tonight as I was tucking our youngest son into bed he started asking me about Lemme. He wanted to know if Lemme knew that we were trying to adopt him, if we were going to get to bring him home soon, and what I thought Lemme had done today. After his questions about Lemme he started to ask why it took so long for us to get to come to bring him home. I told him that I was so sorry that it took so long and then I started telling him a story that I hadn't told him before. The story of our process to bring he and Tia home.

I shared with Garrett that God clearly told us that they were to be our children and that our adoption agency said that it would not be possible for them to be ours (he even giggled when I told him that I literally got sick in the Concord Mills parking lot on my birthday when the phone call came- I told him I would show him the spot next time we were there). I explained that Werke (his birth mom) couldn't be located and without her they couldn't be adopted. I explained that we loved them so much that we got on a plane to go to Ethiopia to look for his mom. I shared how amazing God was to help us find her within a few short hours of being in Ethiopia.

I went on to tell him that the process was long because the government had us fill out many papers (many was an understatement here for those of you who haven't experienced it!), we had to be fingerprinted many times, we had to have a home study completed, and paperwork had to be finished in Ethiopia as well. He had questions about each thing that I had listed. This boy knows how to ask some questions and he also knows how to prolong bedtime.......

He had the most questions about the home study and I tried to answer each one in a way that he would understand. His last question about the home study was, "Mom, when the lady came and looked at our home did she make you pay her for writing about our good house and good family?" I shook my head and answered, "Yes." He then wanted to know how much money she wanted for making sure we were a nice family with a house that he could live in. I then said, "Garrett, the homestudy cost about $2,500." He didn't miss a beat and he said, "Mom, the government, the homestudy lady and the finger print place- They should pay you for being a nice family. You made a nice place for us to live and you were a nice family and why would they make you pay? I just don't get it at all!"

I sat quietly after his last question and statement as tears welled up in my eyes and thought if he only knew the entire expense and process. I explained that things but not people cost money- I shared that I would have paid any amount I needed to pay to make sure I had everything I needed to make sure he could be mine. I explained that when God said that he was to be my son that I was willing to do anything required to follow God and bring him home. I hugged him and made a promise that I would do the same for his brother, Lemme.

John 14:18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

Bittersweet.......

Just a warning........this is raw emotion from a mom who is in disbelief that she is old enough to have a daughter one year away from college - I have heard that these are normal emotions for a mom at my stage (thanks to those friends who have shared their experiences with me) so here goes:

Three years ago when this photo was taken I had no idea what the next few years would hold. I was entering the world of having a teenage daughter for the first time and as excited as I was, I had a great deal of fear. Three years later I look ahead and feel the same feelings as I watch my oldest grow up so much faster than I could have dreamed that she would.

This week has been full of emotion for me. I have laughed, I have cried, I have prayed (and prayed), I have been deep in thought and I have tried not to think........I remember taking this photo of Megan when she was thirteen like it was yesterday. I remember feeling as if God was saying, "Mendy, You have helped to give her wings and it is almost time to let her fly." That day I quickly wiped a tear as I finished snapping the picture on that precious trip that Megan and I were able to take alone for her thirteenth birthday as I realized that my role as her mother was starting to change.

Megan is an amazing young lady. She amazes me with the way that she serves our family and more importanly our God. She has a cute smallgroup of kindergarteners that she teaches every Sunday morning, she leads worship in our high school ministry each week, she loves singing in Kidstuf , she is a patient and loving big sister, and she loves to fill our basement with friends any chance that she has. It has been a joy to watch her grow so much over the last few years- It hasn't been without its challenges but it has been so sweet to watch her become who God has created her to be.

Sunday afternoon we drove almost five hours to Greenville, North Carolina to attend a campus visit on Monday at East Carolina University with Megan. As we toured the campus on Monday morning reality set in that a year from now Megan will be finishing up her senior year of high school and heading off to college. As I looked around the campus I could imagine her there. I could see her full of life and full of activity enjoying every second of campus life. Yet as silly as it seems, I was so excited for her but my heart was breaking for me. For the time that was over, never to be relived.

I certainly don't want to be selfish but as I look ahead I see how quickly my time with her living in our home will vanish. I know that we have five more children (and hopefully six soon) here at home yet I know that when one child leaves our family dynamics will never be the same. When my primary job for sixteen years has been to pour my life into making sure our kids are happy, well adjusted, healthy and that they know how much God loves them- It is hard to think that my role will be trasitioning with Megan. It has transtioned so much over the years but this transition will no longer be daily. I know that we have over a year but I know how quickly that year will pass when I start looking at it in months, weeks and days.

The next year is filling up fast for Megan. She already has plans this summer that will take her to Mexico to nanny for some good friend of ours who are serving as missionaries for three weeks, she is going to be a chaprone for a kid's camp for a week, attend camp with her high school community, cousins camp for a week, a week with my parents, another missions trip to Mexico and then summer will quickly be over. I am thrilled with the choices that she is making and the places that God is using her. I certainly don't want to hold her back and I am praying that I will be the mother that she needs for me to be as she begins to fly more and more on her own each day.

Just last night I was at soccer practice watching our youngest three practice when two sweet little girls from our church came walking past. They were giggling like little three and four year olds giggle and as I watched them I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I thought to myself.......that season is over for you Mendy, never to return. I quickly heard God whisper, "Yes, but you loved your kids well in that season." I had to smile as I thought back to the mischief days of Megan and Kaylee being toddlers.

As I drove away from the soccer field alone last night I thought back to the past sixteen years and God reminded me of the special moments and it was a precious time of Him reminding me that I have done what He has called me to do- Mother my children well. Have I done it perfectly? No. Will I continue to mess up? Yes, but His grace is enough to not only cover me and my mess ups but my also my grown up daughter who is spreading her wings. He reminded me once again that he loves her more than I do. There was such a sweet joy in the car as I drove and just as scripture says, "I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth." 3 John 1:4

I know the next year will pass quickly yet I also know that I am going to be intentional with every moment. What about you? How much time do you have left to invest in those that are most important to you? You will never get this time back. What are you doing today to show them how much they are treasured?

The Mountain ahead......

It has been a month since I have taken time to sit and blog. Some of that is due to having a busy life but part of it is out of complete and total fear. Now I know that over and over God says in His word to not to be afraid yet my emotions sometimes take over my knowledge of who He really is. So here is where we are-

After almost eighteen months of our son asking about and praying for his best freind Lemme, after countless times of mentioning him here on this blog and after hours and hours of prayer we have stepped in to try to bring Lemme home. Yes, I am crying and shaking just typing this because of the uncertainty of the entire situation that is in front of us. The details are so unsure and just as we have seen in the past God will need to move some huge mountains for this to become a reality.

To be honest sometimes I look at our crazy, busy life and think how in the world are we going to add another child into this mix? Yet, each night when I hear my son (or daughter) pray words such as, "God, thank you for this perfect family for me and Tia. Thank you for bringing us here to be loved and cared for. Thank you for giving me a mom and a dad" I know that we have room for one more to feel loved and cared for here as a Henderson.

If you know our family very well at all, you know that stepping into the world of adoption the first time we were very concerned about the thoughts and feelings of our children towards adding to our family. We spent hours talking and praying about what our life would look like and how so many things would change. We did some preadoption couseling as a family. Our kids (all six) have adjusted amazingly well and we praise God for that. I would think that with six kids in our family at least one would feel that our family is complete. This simply is not the case- all six are begging and pleading with us to bring Lemme into our family.

We again have reminded them of how things will change for each of us. How we will need to share each other, we will need to sacrifice some of the fun things that we do as a family, and we will need to completely give up somethings yet they all six pray each day that Lemme will be able to come home soon.They amaze me and humble me. I am very selfish and to see my children willing and ready before I have been willing and ready makes me ashamed of my heart yet it gives me great joy in knowing how He is shaping their precious lives. I think that spending six weeks in Ethiopia at the ages of 6, 9, 12, and 14 changed Lindsay, Jacob, Kaylee and Megan's lives forever- They each have a perspective on life that some will not have in a lifetime. Of course living there for 4 or 5 years shaped Garrett in Tia forever as well.

The road ahead is very long and sometimes when I look ahead I want to turn and run (Good thing David is speaking on Jonah right now to remind me what may happen if I do). I remember the sleepless nights, hours of tears and the pain the journey was to bring Tia and Garrett home. I remember the stress it was on our marriage, the weight that it was on our kids, the questions that I couldn't answer, the endless phone calls and paperwork, the fact that we had no money for adoption when we first stepped in, the fact that we started out to adopt one little boy and the list goes on and on. I am just not sure that I am ready for another battle such as this!

If I stop to ponder each of those things that I want to run from, I am reminded that God used each of these to shape me into who I am now. The sleepless nights up praying taught me that my hope is in Him alone- I can't do anything apart from Him. Our marriage is stronger today because during the stress of the adoption we took time to work on the tough overlooked places of our marriage. Our kids got to see that when the world said that something was impossible our great God showed them that He is in control and that when we follow Him He will make a way. My kids know that David and I don't have all of the answers- They had hard questions about why God would call us to do the impossible and they then got to see Him make a way for us to do it. The endless phonecalls gave me a special friend that I will cherish for the rest of my life, Nicco. The paperwork taught me that even as disorganized as David and I sometimes are we can work together and accomplish anything He places in front of us. One of my greatest fears is the financial piece and I can't help but get completely choked up thinking about the day that our family received a twenty thousand dollar check from a family that we had never met. It shakes me to my core that I dare question if God will provide. When I think about the fact that we set out to adopt only one child, I can't imagine life without both of our sweet twins.

So this is where we are- Lemme needs to be completely paper ready (which from our understand he is almost there- we have located his living family memebers and this makes it a little easier). We then will begin the process of gathering the funds needed (If you feel led to be a part of this piece please contact us) and we have no idea how this will be acomplished but He knows. We will redo our paperwork (Yikes.....I remember the stacks of documents on our desk and it makes me crazy thinking about it). When we have Lemme's paperwork, finances in place and our US paperwork we will file in court in Ethiopia. The waiting we hope will not be as long as with Tia and Garret because we know this time what the process is like.

I ask that you pray for Lemme. He has no idea that we are in the process of trying to bring him home. After almost four years (Yes, four years) of living in an orphanage seeing friend after friend leave with their forever family he must be heartbroken. He must feel that nobody cares for him. He must question why everyone else is picked and he has to remain. He must feel that something is wrong with him to get overlooked each time. I simply can't imagine how he must long to be loved. We can't imagine giving him the hope that he has a family until we are completely sure that we will be able to bring him home. Pray for God to give him a joy that can only come from Him each day as he waits.

Pray for our family. Pray that our kids (especially Tia and Garrett) will understand that this is a LONG process. Each day they ask when he will come home. I answer by saying I don't know and then they ask if it will be next week. It is so hard to say that it might be next year when they know first hand where Lemme is living and how he feels living there. Pray for the six of them to have patience in the process and pray that they each grow as they did while waiting last time. Pray for Megan- She longs to have Lemme here and as she quickly approaches her college years(a year early if you haven't heard that news) I long for her to have time here in our family with him prior to going to college.

Pray for David and I. Pray that during the ups and downs of the next few month that God would show us how to love each other well. That on the stressful days God would give us a peace that only He can give. Pray for us to be patient, kind, and yet persistant when we need to be with each other and with those who we will be working with in Ethiopia. Pray that when others question us (because they already have- My favorite is "When is enough children enough?") we will have the grace to answer kindly.

Pray for the nine of us. Pray that God would go before us and come around behind to shield and protect us. Pray that if God choses to close this door that we would rest in Him knowing that all we are ask to do is follow Him. We know now that He is asking that we fight for Lemme to be a Henderson- In each step we will follow Him closely and trust that He has a plan. Pray that as we wait we will not see the mountain ahead but that He would light each tiny step in front of us so brightly that we know exactly where to step to turn this party of 8 into a party of 9.