Tears, Tears and NO Tears........

Yesterday afternoon as Garrett and Tia hopped off of the school bus I was waiting in the car to pick them up. Megan had joined me at the bus stop and she was going to take Jacob and Lindsay home while I took Garrett and Tia to the doctor. Now I knew not to mention to the twins where we were going because I knew that neither of them would get into the car. They both jumped in and I made sure that the child safety locks were engaged as I closed their doors. The only information they knew at this point was that daddy was waiting on us so we needed to hurry.

We pulled out of our neighborhood and they were both thrilled that we were going to see daddy until Garrett ask me where we were going to see him. I quickly and somewhat quietly said that we were meeting him at the doctor's office. As soon as the words were out of my mouth Tia said, "No ouch! No Ouch! Me no go!" Garrett said, "Seriously? Seriously? Where we go?" At that point I knew that I was glad that I had thought well in advance and had David add to his schedule to meet us at the doctors office. The rest of the twenty minute ride was full of them saying, "No Ouch" and "Me no go" but I hadn't experienced anything yet.

About a month ago Tia and Garrett had their very first doctors appointment here in the US. It was not such a great experience and that was no fault of Cabarrus Pediatrics. The staff was simply amazing with our children and Dr. Douglas went out of his way to care for both of them however they both had to give about eight vials of blood. It took about five minutes each of them being held down by myself and a nurse while another nurse took the blood and that was no easy task. I had not thought ahead on this visit and so I found myself there all alone with two kids who were completely out of control, scared and in pain.

As we pulled into the parking lot at Cabarrus Pediatrics yesterday both Tia and Garrett started to cry. Not a small cry but a loud terrified cry. As I parked the car I noticed that Garrett quickly took off his seat belt and was climbing to the back of our extended Yukon. Tia was holding her seat belt buckle so that it could not be opened. I was so thankful that I saw David pull in as I was turning off the ignition. I stepped out of the car and started to pray as David came over to my car. I shook my head and quickly told him that this was not going to be good. He opened the car door and heard the crying and he quickly agreed.

I told David that I would get Tia if he could get Garrett because I remembered Garrett's strength from the last office visit. I went around to open Tia's door and she was as stiff as a board. I finally got her unbuckled and she would not let me pick her up. I finally got my arms around her to scoop her up and I carried her like a baby into the office. I really have no idea how David got Garrett out of the back of the car but soon we all four found ourselves sitting in the waiting room with two wailing kids. Yes, everyone in the well child area turned to look at us and the ladies behind the desk were laughing as we entered. They remembered us from last time when they thought our kids were so precious until the blood drawing part of our visit.

We sat in the waiting room for several minutes and neither of the kids settled down. Every time the nurse would come out to get another patient Tia would say, "No go!" We just thought the crying was loud but when the nurse came out and called for Tia and Garrett they both were screaming. As a mom my heart was aching yet I knew that what we were doing for them was something so misunderstood by them. They felt we were taking them there to get hurt yet we were doing this to protect them and make them better.

When it was time to sign the forms to allow the nurse to give the injections Tia looked right at me, deep into my eyes. She then tried to escape the room as I signed the papers and she understood enough to say, "Mommy, you say to give me ouch?" I almost cried as I said yes and tried to explain that I love her and that is why she has to have these shots. I am doing this for her own good yet until she is much older she will not fully understand. She of course didn't understand and tried to grab the papers from me as I sat them up on the exam table.

Isn't this so much like yourself, I thought to myself as I sat there. God allows so many things that you feel are hurtful and hard, yet He is working out His plan in your life while you kick and scream the entire time. Things that He plans to use for good and I, just like Tia, want to run or tear up the papers so they won't happen. As they continued to cry I couldn't help but think of some of the painful situations and circumstances in my past that have shaped me into who I am. Days that I wouldn't like to relive but days that I would gladly relive to get to where I am now. Each day as I want to cry, kick, scream, and tear up the papers, I hope that I will instead rest in my Father's arms and trust Him to be working out all things for my good because I love Him. When I do this I will be just like Tia and Garrett as we carried them out of the doctor's office their tears subsided and their fear turned to joy as they knew their daddy had planned a special treat after such a rough few minutes. I think they found the ice cream to be worth all of the pain!