A Mother’s Love……….
is something that only is known by a mother and her child. The past two and a half weeks I have been able to first hand love two of my children for the very first time. I have loved them for over 19 months but only I have known of that great love.
I am going to share some pretty personal things in this blog and I want to be very sensitive to my children when sharing their story:
Many of you may or may not know that Tia and Garrett’s birth mom is still alive. Two and a half weeks ago I got the honor of spending some time with her. When she arrived at the guest home where we are staying, I held my breath as she got out of the car. How must she feel? Am I what she thought I would be? What are her thoughts towards me? My heart broke into pieces as I held her, hugged her and just cried. It was raining and we stood for minutes just holding each other, both weeping. I know my deep love for Tia and Garrett and I also know, after that encounter, of her great love for them.
We went into the guest home and sat together on the sofa. So many things I wanted to ask and yet my heart hurt for this beautiful woman who loved her children so much that she was willing to give them up so that they could survive. She started to share with us about Tia and Garret’s dad and how he died while she was pregnant with them. Soon after his death, her brother-in-law then married her (cultural way of life) and they had a set of twins. Soon after the second set of twins (who are now between two and three years old) were born, her second husband died. You could see the pain and hurt in her eyes as she spoke of this life that she had lived. A painful life of great loss; and to think that she has been widowed twice was overwhelming for me. Even more overwhelming is the fact that she had faced this all alone without a heavenly father.
As I held her hand I couldn’t begin to imagine what her life had been like. She lives on a small island in a grass hut where there is very little to eat. She has no one to protect her and her eight children. She and her children work very hard from sun up to sun down each day just to survive. She has no way to provide for her children other than to plant and harvest one type of grain annually. She builds a fire each day to not only cook on but to keep her children warm at night. (Garrett has a large burn scar on his ankle from one of these fires and everyday when I see that scar I will think of his birth mom, Werke, and the life that she lives). She and her children must walk to the lake each day to carry water up the hill to their hut for drinking and cooking. She had seen her children so hungry that she had to make a choice to give them a better life. A decision I could never begin to imagine having to make. To be honest, I am not sure if I were her that I could have ever overcome my selfishness enough to give them up yet she did because of her great love for them.
I know that Werke loves Tia and Garrett with a mother’s love that goes beyond my understanding. To see her hug them after court on June 28, 2010 was a sight that I will never ever forget. After Werke attended court with us we asked her to ride in our van to go and get Tia and Garrett from the orphanage. We had hoped to get to spend some time with her and with the twins together. When we arrived at the orphanage I wanted her to go in first to greet them and I was somewhat anxious to see what their response would be to her. As she entered both Tia and Garrett had huge smiles on their faces. Werke hugged Garrett and as she held him I said to David, “I am not sure I can do this.” I wanted to see this interaction yet the mother’s heart in me hurt like nothing I had ever experienced. My heart didn’t hurt for me, but for her. A deep hurt that is unexplainable- I cried as I watched her hold her precious children in her arms. She was whispering to them and although I don’t speak Zay I knew what she was saying. She loves them with a deep love that only a mother and her child will ever know.
More to come later on this mother’s love……….this journey is simply amazing, overwhelming and exactly what God has planned it to be.