I remember last year on this day having a very hard day. A day where hope was hard to hold on to and my heart hurt in a way that it had never hurt. To know that our son and daughter day after day were hurting , alone and longed for us to come was sometimes unbearable. It was such a joy to go in November to spend time with them but that made my longing for them so much greater. To think that our family in a few days would be celebrating, eating , laughing and loving on each other with out the twins seemed so unfair. I knew that I needed to spend some extended alone time with God as I wrestled in my heart with where He had us. He was there as I sat on the ground sobbing and asking Him why over and over. He heard every why, collected every tear and wrapped His arms around me as I cried for over an hour at His feet.
Fast forward to this morning where I went to the same place and instead of tears of pain I sat in the same spot and cried out in sheer joy. I am sure that He caught every tear this morning that fell from this thankful mother's eyes. My why's this year were not why's of waiting but why's of me? Why God have you blessed me beyond measure? Why have you chosen us? Followed by a great time of worship. If you were anywhere near our house you may have heard me praising Him at the very top of my lungs as I sang some of the same songs that I tried to sing last year at this same time yet at a very different place in life.
I am so thankful that my Father is with me whether I hurt or rejoice. That He longs to hold me, catch my tears, rejoice with me and comfort me as my heart aches. I simply can't imagine life without Him. God is good All of the time- For those of you who are hurting this Christmas- Draw near to Him, tell Him your hurts and allow Him to be the great comforter. For those who are blessed beyond measure- Take time in the next few days to carve out an hour and just worship Him. I promise you will be glad you did!