When I answered the phone the lady from our agency did not have a court date for us but instead said that she was sorry but that we should take another referral because the children that we had been waiting for were unadoptable. I made her repeat herself as I felt feelings that I had never felt before. Tears started streaming down my face and all of the excitement of answering the phone turned to sheer disbelief. This couldn't be happening I thought to myself. We have loved our precious twins for ten months and they knew we were coming. We had sent two care packages with our family photos and introduced ourselves as their mom and dad. We had even had phone conversations with them where we promised that we were going to come soon to bring them home.
I had a million questions of which I only ask the agency representative about three and her responses were all the same. She simply said, "I have no details but I can have the owner of the agency call you soon." As I hung up the phone I literally felt sick. I have faced having a heart condition, losing those close to me, moving far from family and a tubual pregnancy yet nothing even closely compared to the deep ache in my heart. By the time I was off of the phone David had pulled into the parking lot at the mall and I stepped out of the car and over to a small patch of grass because I knew at any moment I was going to lose the Birthday lunch that we had just enjoyed. David walked over to where I was and wanted me to recount the phone coversation that I had just finished. I couldn't form the words and I just cried in his arms. Finally after a few minutes I explained how she was calling to inform us that Tizita and Geremew were not adoptable and no reason was given as to why. We both were is disbelief and we neither one were in any shape to drive home. We just held each other and cried and I am sure that anyone passing by knew that something horrible had just happened in our life. We finally settled down enough to get into the car and drive home.
As we pulled into our driveway I notice that my good friend Angela was at our house waiting for me. I started to wonder how she knew what was happening and how she came so fast. As I got out of the car it then occurred to me as I saw her holding a gift for me that she was there for my Birthday not because of the news that we had just received. Tears were flowing down my face as I walked up the driveway to my sweet friend and she didn't say a word only held me in her arms. I then stepped back and shared with her the news that had just been delivered to us. God knew well in advance to have a precious friend at our home to meet us when we arrived there and I will never forget His goodness that arrived to us in the form of a great friend.
After we arrived home David and I knew that we had to come up with a plan to share with Megan, Kaylee, Jacob and Lindsay this unexpected news. The thought of having to disappoint them with the news that their brother and sister would not be coming home was almost more than I could bear yet we knew as soon as they saw us they would know that something terrible had happened while they were at school. While we waited for their arrival home we crawled into our bed, cried and called out to God.
Lindsay and Jacob arrived home first and we called them to come up to our room. David explained to them that we didn't know exactly why but that Tizita and Geremew could not become a part of our family. They both burst into tears and started asking all of the questions that David and I had. With each question we just held them and said that we didn't know but that God did and we would just have to trust Him. When Megan and Kaylee arrived home we shared the same news with the same response. Tears were flowing and they had several harder questions like, "If we are following what God wants us to do by adopting then why would He allow them to not come home?" Questions like these had been flowing through my mind for the past three hours and there were no answers.
The six of us spent Friday night (other than a tear filled Birthday dinner at Olive Garden) and ALL day Saturday huddled in our bedroom. We cried and prayed for those two days- It was a weekend that none of us will ever forget. On Saturday David was wrestling with what he would share on Sunday morning. If you know our family you know we are very real and we share our lives like an open book. He knew that the series he was currently prepared for he could not speak on. He was sharing a series called Life at the Office and he decided to scrap that idea and share what was happening in our family instead.
That Sunday was another day that will not be forgotten by our family. The way that our church family loved on us and carried us was simply amazing. I just found out this week that the band was scheduled to play, "I'm going home" to go with the office series on that Sunday and they knew even before David shared that he wasn't doing the office talk that day that they couldn't play that song. People brought meals and gathered around us and prayed. One guy in his early 20's even shared that his adoptive parents had been told that he was unadoptable but they didn't give up and he became theirs.
We were told at the end of the weekend by the owner of the adoption agency that there was little to no hope but that he was willing to try and help us continue with this adoption. He shared that the birth family of Tizita and Geremew could not be located and without that they would never be adopted because they had be relinquished and not abandoned. He told us that he would contact us in several weeks with an update on their situation. We quickly started asking other agencies and those in the adoption field what we could do to help locate a birth family and more importantly we prayed for God to intervien for the sake of these two orphans that He had called us to parent.
Over the next few days I will share our full story of how we got from October 16, 2009 to today where I sat at Foster's Grill for my Birthday lunch beside the cutest twins in the world!